For the past 4 months, my life was school. School was life, and life was school. I haven't blogged in forever, and whenever I try to write now, it feels that the creative and writing part of me died after highschool. Maybe I should've pursued a English major like Ms. Nannery, my highschool AP english teacher, told me to. Since grade 9 she said I was a good writer, and that if I wanted to, I could easily become a great writer. But I'm ASIAN!
It's not in my blood to become a person who sits at the coffee store with a laptop and notebook, brainstorming plot ideas and character traits. Sure it would be pretty awesomely cool to write a book and have people buy it, but to me that same idea falls within the group of winning the lottery, or gaining superpowers. I once tried to write a book, and even though I planned on it being a short lil novella, I can tell you that book writing is not easy. And then now with university, being an engineer requires you to give up some part of your life, and it definitely changes you. Maybe I put it upon myself, taking 8 courses in 1 term/semester, but the satisfaction of finishing 8 finals, and getting a decent mark (standards have been lowered), is worth it. I'm a person who strives for intellect, I simply cannot live ignorance.
Reflecting back on the finished school term, 2nd year has been rough. I don't think I have ever really been challenged in school until this year. If I had to compare the effort I spent, it would probably be like all the years of school before it combined. People often say that the 1st year is the hardest, because its the transition from highschool to university, where teachers expect different things and adopt various attitudes towards your learning. Sure there will be profs who don't give a shit about the students, and is fine with a 55% class average. But most of the times you will find that the profs there do indeed care. The transition, for me, was nonexistent. Everything was the same, except that there were more group projects, and harder assignments. Most people balk at being assigned impossibly hard things to do, but what is the point of going to school if everything is easy? Do you want to go to a math class and just have the prof teach you everything you already know? Or would you rather be assigned questions on topics you didn't know existed, and spend hours learning it? Sure it may seem that I am being sarcastic here, and maybe a little part of it is. But right now when I look back at the assignments I thought were impossible, it gives me satisfaction knowing that I worked hard and solved it. My entire 2nd year was like, spending days at school working on math assignments with friends, staying up late researching into how to build circuits, arguing over stupid ideas.
School is a love-hate relationship. You hate the amount of time that you could spend doing other useless things, but you love the knowledge. Being on this christmas break, for the 1st week I didn't know what to do with my time. There were no finals that I had to cram for, no last minute projects to franticly finish. And now theres only 1 week left of the break, and I think I miss school. Next term I'll be doing co-op, and it will be joyous to not have classes to take, but I think i want to take classes. Earning money and researching will be fun, but I think i want to take a random night class, just so I will have something to do. Life isn't meant to be easy, nor do I want it to be right now.
This is probably the longest post I've written in awhile (or ever) and I think this was the sole reason I started this personal blog away from our highschool fun blog. Writing for personal reflection, and just for the heck of writing. Maybe with all this writing i'll take up poetry again, it's been awhile.